the word and the way

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 23:55:04 GMT

I'm going to name my first born Pabst Blue Ribbon.

I'm still at work, writing inspirational words for greeting cards.

Hum.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:45:00 GMT

God...
I used to date guys who dress up like anime characters and played dungeons and dragons.
They made me watch anime.
Read manga.
Taught me how to play Yu-gi-o and Magic and I even played Dand D for an hour once.
They made me learn DDR and listen to them talk about video games.
I went to an anime convention once.
One made me buy him action figures or something and drive him to his D&D meetings.

HOW DO I GET THAT TIME BACK FROM MY LIFE?

p.s. why am i pretending to work?

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 07:19:23 GMT

I should write here more.

It's hot in my room because there is no ventilation. 2 of my room mates are sleeping on the couch under the A/C. It's cute.

I slept through work last Saturday morning. (8am on Saturday mornings is just cruel).
First I started my excuse as an emergency tonsil removal, but then the recovery for that really is too long so I changed it to a.. tonsil fluid drainage??

Honestly, if something sounds too gross to ask about, then bosses usually don't.

(I love telling people I have diarrea*)
* I had to look at Dictionary.com to give me the spelling for that, the definition of diarrea is:
too much liquid in and too frequent emptying of the bowels
Example: He has diarrhoea.

and cites it in 27 different languages.
----------

Anyway, Greg left for L.A./Vegas/Reno this morning.
Sad :(
But he has work.

I would have gone, but school starts in 13 days and I have this awesome job.

He left me a lovely letter to discover when I woke up though.

And I miss him already.
----------

Bought a new pet mouse. The total now is 4. She's black and the only mouse I've ever met that gives kisses.
---------

I just spent $250 on textbooks for 3 classes which I will only glance at the day before a test or paper.
--------

My classes begin at either 12 or 2, and none on Fridays! I like my classes.
-------

I just spent $50 at the grocery store, on things I need. I come home to find out that the fridge is broken.
But my mom's giving me $400/month for groceries. :)
------

My room mate's BF got jumped and hit 7 times with an aluminum baseball bat walking in Bloomington. They were going to rob him, but all he had in his bad were CDS.
He has some fractures and a black eye, but he's handling it well and it's healing on its own.
-----

It's really fucking hot outside.

Apparently Chicago had some tornados touch down.

Scary, I wonder if anyone was hurt.
--------

I went to the McClean county fair yesterday! It was small, but I went on the upside down rides and Greg won me a new goldfish.

That's about it.

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:07:20 GMT

I have an amazing job where I sit in an art gallery for 3 hours a day, usually by myself, and write essays about bloomington-normal. $11/hour. I love it.

I'm going fishing today!

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 04:35:04 GMT

Back home for the summer.

Extremely broke.

I like my house.

Greg is at the pub next door. He is in a bad mood because I went on a date with my friend Casey instead of him.

I am extremely frustrated.

RAWWWRRARARWRARWRARWRARWRA

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 22:01:06 GMT

Lazy Sunday.

Back in Chicago.

Here's what I've been doing:
Illinois, Tennesse, Kentucky, Ohio, and back to Illinois.

Bonnaroo was fun but Summercamp was better.
In Ohio we went to a gathering of people who grow their own mushrooms. Or just like to eat them. It was good times.
Rothbury soon.

I've done a lot of drugs
Drank too much smoked too much
Made absolutely zero money
Spent more than I can afford to
Met a lot of people
Seen a lot of things
Went to tons of states
Got a nice sun tan
Slept next to my boy every night.

Oh yeah, and we were arrested again yesterday for sitting on a bridge.
Dumb.

Apparently there's only a month left of summer - how in the hell did it go by so quickly?

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 03:14:35 GMT

I am sitting in the parking lot of "duds n sids super laundry" of murfreesboro, tn. Greg is putting a new starter in ze truck. then we're going grocery shopping and then off to bonnaroo! we're going to party in the parking lot tonight. cooooool. we even have tickets and an rv pass. (no sneaking in this time) I counted cars full of hippies on the highway down here. There were a lot....
OI.
But I'm excited for it! drinking and drugs and camping and music and etc.
It's been a good summer. No work. Lots of traveling. A good sun tan.
(Except that I'm broke. These things will happen...)

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 03:43:01 GMT

I am in Orland park.

Summercamp was tits.
Illinois cops are crazy - got pulled over 4 times after entering Illinois (no front liscence plate). The first was 10 minutes after crossing the border.

Had my first keg at my house, also fun.

I'm at Greg's. Today we pirated 150 gallons of grease from the back of restaurants and filtered it and cooked it to use in the truck.
Going to Florida. Tuesday probably. We're bringing the camper so we can pull off staying places for free. Ummmm and fuel is free too.
Then we're going to New Orleans and then Bonnaroo. Back to Illinois for a couple days, then Ohio, then Canada - etc.

Or something.

YUP. Fun summer!

Fri, 30 May 2008 04:46:22 GMT

Hello, how are you?

I am having my first keg at my first house.

i CAME to my room to nap but now I am not tired.

We are leaving for Florida / New Orleans soon.

But I have no money.

Don't tell Greg.

But I am completely broke.

UM. Well, there's always credit.
Hazaaah.

I'm drunky. Goodbye time for beer pong.

Fri, 16 May 2008 09:03:48 GMT

I am sitting in a hotel room 15 floors up in a hotel/casino in Reno Nevada.
It's kind of fancy, but free (because Greg's played poker here before)... I spent a while in a big bathtub drinking beer and watching TV.

Traveling was cool. We drove 36 hours. (he drove mostly all of it) Next week we're going to pan for gold. Tomorrow we're going to San Fransisco.

This is my first time out west. It's a lot different, but I love the mountains.
I saw wild horses, maybe 5 feet from the car.
And prarie dogs at a rest stop that really just walk up to your feet because they're curious. Cute.

Reno is big and pretty. It even has that little sign from the show Reno 911. Except the cops I saw driving by and riding bikes seem a lot more serious.

Iowa is pretty boring. Went to the world's largest truck stop. Not much there. Doesn't take long to drive through.
Nebraska is flat and boring too. Witchita seems kind of interesting, but that's about the only sign of civilization on I80. Then here's Wyoming which is the MOST boring state driving through I80. I don't have much to say about that except there's pine trees and you start driving high altitudes up into the mountains. Lots of cows.
Utah aint that bad. Salt Lake City is pretty and HUGE and kind of nice to roll onto. I was really suprised to see just how many mountains there were out here.
Then the moment you get into Nevada you see gas-station-motel-casino. The first town we hit I thought was Reno because of all the neon. But that's just how Nevada is. Most gas stations have at least one slot machine in them, I found out.
You know, a lot of this stuff seems like it should be on a post card, it's that picturesque.

Anyway, a lot more than that has happened.
You wouldn't believe how nice this hotel is! It's kind of cool. My boyfriend is somewhere downstairs playing poker or something. (I'm not old enough to gamble. Apparently I'm not even supposed to stay here?)

California tomorrow!

Wed, 07 May 2008 07:13:50 GMT

Today I am drunk.
There was... A FREE KEG!
Theatre majors, but they're cute!
I found out today that my favorite gay guy is straight!!
WTf.

double you tee eff.

UM. what else.

Saw Sara, always good.

Tomorrow a test
Tomorrow hand in a paper (that I didn't try very hard on)
Tomorrow pack a bit.

Complications with the company that owns our house.
Fuck it at this point.
I'm done being responsible.

EtcEtcETcEtc.

I'm unplugging my computer after I study.
Tomorrow. So CYA.

Mon, 05 May 2008 08:37:09 GMT

Edit: Alison is Bunnicula
"Today Vegetables... Tomorrow the World"
Or, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGV08KvSs-Q

Me and Danielle talked about kids books after she told me how a group of 24 bunnies were just staring at her today.

Itinerary:
Work on theatre and American Lit until 7:50, then take a final.
Pay rent.
And write a paper.
And turn a paper in.
Then write another paper.
And turn another paper in.
Then study for a test and then take the test and then drink and drink and drink.

Friday I'm going to Peoria to drop some stuff off, pick up the camper - hope it's in working condition.
Then back to the dorms to pack and pack and pack.
Move in on Saturday.
Leave on Monday.
Go to Nevada and California and stuff.
Then back for summercamp.
Then leave for Bonaroo.
Then... Leg Fest and Rothbury and Pitchfork.
And whatever else comes along the way.

Who knows.

Somewhere in there I need to settle in to the house and get a job for next semester close to home.

I'm excited.

Mon, 05 May 2008 06:07:21 GMT

Whenever I am stressed, have anxiety about something, I usually act impulsively or erratically.

Or I do something dumb like sleep through a test or interview or doctor's appt.

And now I am thinking to myself. How can I sabotage my finals this year?

We almost got the housing situation covered. For 4 people it's much more complicated than you'd think it would be.

The first 2 days Casey is having 2 coworkers with us, oh fun.
So if me and Greg stay there before we go to Nevada, that would be 8 people in a 4 bedroom house.

Poor subleasers.

Mon, 05 May 2008 05:50:57 GMT

Alison Is:
A little annoyed
a little tweaked
a little broke
a little something
a little blonde
And Moreover:
Kinda bored
kinda horny
kinda lazy
kinda dirty
kinda groovin
(at this moment)
Maybe she's drinking a beer too
Taking a break from not-studying.
Also, Alison is
extremely over-worked
and as always
confused.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 05:45:29 GMT

------------

To: Self

From: Common Sense

Subject: Why did I become an English Major?

Body:
Dear Self,
I must have written 15 pages in the last 24 hours. The most of which will not be
considered for more than 2 minutes before they are placed aside. Any idea how this occured?
Thank you,
Common Sense.
-------------

To: Common Sense

From: Self

Subject: RE: Why did I become an English Major?

Body: Dear Common Sense,
I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Sorry for the confusion.
From,
Self.

-------------

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 01:11:59 GMT

Amphetemines are healthiest when not prescribed by doctors and used solely for academic / cleaning purposes.

Ode to Sara
Sara sells me pills
little white ones
that help me study
and if I get an A
this semester
I will praise medical science

She has a sick gecko
and needs some money
for a trip to the vet.
I hope Demetri
feels better
but it must be hard
for a little gecko
to live
in a little plastic cage.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 06:41:38 GMT

The library at ISU has an entire row dedicated to utopian/dystopian literature.
There is so much I want to read.
I still need to finish Finnegan's Wake. Than may be my next conquest - free time permitting.

I'm reading right now, an author from 1883's take on life in the year 2000.
I wonder why I don't know of any author's now writing about life in the year 2200.
I begin to think that people may have been more pro-active in the 19th century.
Then I remember that this is what sociologists call "false nostalgia"
Isn't learning fun?

School ends soon, and for the first time I am not freaked out about finals.
I had my last class for Women's Lit today and am very excited about it.
I temporarily quit my job.
Which makes everything a little nicer.

Things are still going great between me and my baby, so nothing's new there. He suprised me on Thursday which was cool.

Moving out of my dorm will be a pain.

I want to start packing soon. At least cut down on some of the colors.

Things to do:
Not much.
Hooray!

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:28:00 GMT

I'm awake and it's after 5. So I might as well write something huh?

I just played a very long game of monopoly and won.

I'm getting really tan from this beautiful sunshine. Or, I will be tan once this sunburn goes away.

Me and Greg went to Cavefest last weekend! It's like this hippie-ish music festival. We camped outside and got SOO dirty muddy, but it was worth it. I had a lot of fun.
He's such a sweetheart.

I have 2 weeks left of school! I can't believe it. I might actually get good grades this semester, who knows.

Moving into my house is going to be hectic because 4 other people are moving in that day as well.

Hummm....

Oh My mom is giving Greg our old pop up camper that's been sitting in our front yard for years. I'm really happy just for them to get it off the grass but also, we could take it camping and stuff! That could be pretty nice.
I think they're really excited to get rid of it too.

I think maybe I'm sleepy now. I have to wake up in 4.5 hours to act for my theatre class as my final project. blah. Hopefully I memorized all my lines.

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 08:54:22 GMT

Haiku and a half
I should not drink and study
Because I spill my
Notecards all over the floor.

I have a problem
I should stop writing
such terrible poetry
it's kind of funny

missing someone
S0metimes I miss my mom
Because I only talk to her
every two weeks.
But then I remember
that when we d0 talk
she just asks about money
and such.
and it is boring to me.

my boyfriend
I love my boyfriend
so much
and sometimes I wonder
How I got so lucky
to have him in my life.
but I don't wonder
for too long
because then I start to think
maybe he wonders about me too!
and i hope
I'm a good girlfriend
to him.
I'm think I am
But not too sure
I've never met
anyone like him
or anyone
who loves me
so much.
But it feels good.
Happy.

the boy
The boy likes me
he really really likes me!
I like him too!
I like... the world
I see
through his eyes
every now and then.
I'm happy
I'm a part of it.
(His world, that is).
I don't want to leave him
ever.
Or anytime soon...
Who knows.
I want to live
for here and now.
He makes me happy here
He makes me hapy now
that's all I ask for.
Silly boy.
I really like you.
I really really like you!

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 07:20:45 GMT

Flavor of the day:
NANCY):
Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things

(LEE):
I walked in town on silver spurs that jingled to
A song that I had only sang to just a few
She saw my silver spurs and said lets pass some time
And I will give to you summer wine
Ohh-oh-oh summer wine

(NANCY):
Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Ohhh-oh summer wine

(LEE):
My eyes grew heavy and my lips they could not speak
I tried to get up but I couldn't find my feet
She reassured me with an unfamiliar line
And then she gave to me more summer wine
Ohh-oh-oh summer wine

(NANCY):
Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Mmm-mm summer wine

(LEE):
When I woke up the sun was shining in my eyes
My silver spurs were gone my head felt twice its size
She took my silver spurs a dollar and a dime
And left me cravin' for more summer wine
Ohh-oh-oh summer wine

Today was good. What did I do? I don't remember or call to recount, right now I just want to focus on this case of Mickey's (the shame of Irish beer) and make slow progress on the rest of my studying.

BUT! This week is the bitch of the bunch and should be over by tomorrow night.

And then only 2 and a half weeks left of school. Good God. I'm not ready for it. I need to do some stuff.

Group projects....
E-mailing teachers...

My 15 page paper is 75% done. Nice, right?

I did a project today with a group where we asked people in the Quad to anonymously write down their worst prejuidices. It was an interesting turn out. People hate black people and mexicans and think Indians smell like curry, etc.
It was strange. I don't think the people in my group are very interesting. It's times like those where I wonder why I'm not like most people.

Hm.

Casey VanHecke is an emotionally unstable person. She had a tantrum last night and drove home at 2AM after getting back from the bar. I won't disclose details, but just say that she over-reacts and is super defensive (a trait known to everyone but herself) and when she returns to school on Friday night she will pretend like everything is normal and nothing is her fault.

Frustrating.
But she's still my friend.

Before she left she was yelling at me and Danielle, even though what we were saying was rational. Such as - "you could have called, you promised we would go to the bar tonight", etc.
But she was freaking out. The last think we said to each other...
"I had a really bad fucking day OK so lay off!"
"You had a bad day? I had a bad day too dude."
"What was so fucking bad about your day?"
I dunno. Then she left. I don't know what to do. But it's stupid to get in fights with your friends and then making them feel like shit when they don't worry over you when you leave in a tantrum.

END.

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:18:25 GMT

Bad day.

Work, which was fine. Nice, kind of. Even if I had to wake up after 3 hours of sleep again.

Then I went to a presentation for a final project that I'm doing with a group. Very post secret-esque. (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/) I'm kind of excited about it.

I came back in a good mood and was printing something out when I found my credit care=d bill behind my printer. FUCK.

I really can't afford that.

Then I was about to go to class the resident hall director knocked on our door and started saying all these things like "if I go into your room what would I find" etc. Till he just said that if we don't get whatever it is out, he would call pest control and we would probably be kicked out.
SO...
We got rid of our pet mice. I miss them. Even if they're at Casey's apartment, it's just a bummer not to have them in our room. I suprised myself at how emotional I was about it. I think I get attached to animals a lot.
He said that we all didn't have to get in trouble for this and one of us could take the blame. I was with Danielle at the time and she was completely silent looking at the ground for a few moments until I said that I would do it.
It's kind of Danielle's style not to take responsibility for much. What can you do?
So I missed a class because of that.

Another thing is that I'm failing a gen-ed just for attendence grade. Every class you miss brings your final grade down a half letter grade. I'm certain I've missed more than 8 classes the entire semester, so fuck.
I'm thinking I'll talk to the TA and make up some fantastic excuse. But still.
It's a class I'm getting an A+ in.
It's kind of shitty.

I feel really irresponsible.
Even though I'm trying my best. I think.
Maybe sometimes I just make mistakes.
Or make bad choices.
But I try hard still, and I don't think I'm stupid.

I just want to sleep and not think about any of these silly things.

My room mates have been taking an excessive amount of my Ambien this month and plainly for recreational purposes. More often that I take it for actual sleeping problems. I'm cutting them off.
Also, my grandma gave me 2 boxes of chocolate last week and my room mates/people on my floor ate it all. How? I don't know. They eat all my food.

Oh well, I just want to get through this week and onto the weekend.
Too bad that it's just Wednesday.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:13:05 GMT

Study Break
I felt like crying today.
Because I felt like failing today.
All my classes I feel -
are going downhill.
So have some lunch
and addherall too.
Make some coffee
and study till 2.
"we're running out of cigarettes"
I say to myself.
Then I wonder why the clock
seems so unreal.
So much to do
but have I done
anything?
Maybe - all I want
is to lay
on the floor
and drink
a beer
and listen
to
Moby.
So that's what I'll do!

Train
On the train the other day
It was very crowded
with so many different people
of different age and class and gender,
and race too.
trying to make their way home
wherever that was.
I sat across the aisle from
a black man
drinking vodka and beer.
I assumed the things about the man
I'm sorry to say
but now if I could,
I would
paint a picture of his soul.
He was talking on the phone
to someone unknown
about this and that and everything beautiful.
I eavesdropped on a conversation
about Gandhi and King, Lincoln and Kennedy
He said, I still remember
that those who spoke the truth
are all dead now
with no one left
to speak at all.
He spoke about his race,
in this private conversation
overheard by me.
He spoke about class too.
And how they
are the same.
He talked about brotherhood
And how
we
are the same.
A white man, sitting next to him
ignoring him
the whole trip.
Exchanged a seat
to sit
by a young girl.
(she was white)
he was friendly
for the first time.
A while passed
and the black man appeared
to his seat
which was taken
by the white girl.
She was nervous
and apologetic.
the man next to her
looked out the window.
All the time the black man
was saying it was OK
he would go somewhere else
on the train.
He just wanted
his book -
an autobiography
of a black man.
(I did not see who).
He left his empty beer
and he left his seat
for the white girl
who did not know
what to say.
and wandered somewhere out of sight.

I'm still bad at poetry. If I had the time, I would read more books on it.

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:22:09 GMT

Yeah... not doing homework.
Something I just realized I like about spring is that now is when everyone starts their diets besides me. Then they give me all their extra candy.
I don't know what people have against sugar, but it's good for the soul.
Sometimes my room mates eat all my chocolate, even though they're on diets, which is sad for me.
The last time I dieted was a couple years ago and I gained so much weight. Then I stopped, ate what I wanted to, and lost it.
People are dumb

Maybe I'll do some work when I get off work at 12 and have a couple hours to kill. I hope I do.

Maybe I won't though.

At my job we sometimes pick up abandoned bikes. The person can call in if they want their bike back, but hardly anyone does. Seeing as how I know where these are, could get the serial number, and have some people call in... I could get a few new bikes if I wanted.

But I don't want to.

I could also steal the keys to the forklifts and dumptrucks.

But that wouldn't end well.

I didn't go out and get drunk last night and it was so nice not to come to work hung over.

Pffffft one hour left. Get off work, go to BSC, lunch, study??, shower, class 3-4, and then see Greg after that!
Maybe I won't study.

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:03:21 GMT

Humm. At work.

I had the most amazing Tuesday/Wednesday this week! Greg was sposed to be in Florida and called me at about 1am to say that he was somewhere in Tennesee and staying the night there. I was outside my dorm at the time talking to him on the phone and he just shows up from the side of the building and suprises me!
the little fibber! <3
The best suprise I've ever had!
I just started kissing him a lot and I was really excited.
so then he says that he has a cab coming to take us to a motel. There's champaigne and a rose for me but the best part was just sleeping next to him. It was so romantic.

Then on Wednesday I skipped all my classes and we had a picnic on top of a bar in downtown Bloomington. On thus tiny roof which Greg was so crafty about finding. Everything was so sweet. I don't even know how he thinks of these little dates.

<3333

I think we're going to Michigan tonight. Which is cool because I've never been to Michigan.

I'm at work and I did everything I needed to do within the first 15 minutes. I brought homework to do, but it's so early for that.

Megan's bday was yesterday and she picked me up from school. It was pretty good and nice to see ze family.

I had a bad week as far as school goes, I give myslf a D-. But recreationally my week was A+.

Oi.

My bike tires are flat.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:45:35 GMT

I have a boyfriend
(his name is Greg)
I don't know
How he thinks
of
little things
to do
for me
but I don't complain
when he writes my name
and
a big heart
in the sand.
the little thing
will be
washed
away
in the tide
of the ocean...
But I still smile
because I know
he thinks of me.